I’d like to share something with my readers. I usually post about technological things, but today there’s something much bigger on my mind that I’d really like to put out.
If there’s one life lesson I’ve learned that I wish I could instantaneously share with the entire world with the push of a button, it would be this: don’t be too harsh on yourself.
Whatever you do, just try not to take life too seriously. Just try. Mistakes can be deeply frustrating and humiliating, but over time, if you beat yourself up for it, that becomes your programmed response. It’s a terrible thing because all it does is bring you down, and in the long run, it only serves to needlessly complicate things. It’s just not healthy or necessary in any way or fashion. There hasn’t been a single day in anybody’s life in which it has helped.
Believing in this mentality shuts away the beauty that is: if you’re willing to see things this way, every mistake can be a gift of opportunity to learn, improve, and become that much better of a person. It’s an incredibly valuable, deeply beautiful thing, and to adopt this mentality puts you ahead of many people in the world! And it doesn’t have to be as painstakingly difficult as it might sound.
What makes it all the worse is that if you don’t realize it, the self-destructive response can feel so right, especially if you’ve absorbed a lot from a toxic environment. I’m here to tell you that it’s not. Especially in the case of others who are supposed to have your best interest at heart. Should they contribute to this, they are not at all good person for you to be around. Friends are never, ever there to pull each other down. They are there to be strong and lift you up.
Never accept & keep someone in your life that only serves to mock you, pull you down, and blame you for all their own problems. Or even someone who just constantly is pointing at your own faults, be they made-up, or even real. Push that person out as soon as you can, however possible. If talking to them directly but calmly doesn’t work, then some kind of peaceful compromise has to be made. There’s simply nothing good ever to be had from that kind of person.
Nobody is perfect, they say. We’ve all heard it countless times before. And yet, it’s so easy to lose sight of this simple fact, and not think about what it really means. We all have something, if it’s not one thing then it’s another. We can be a huge mess in our own ways, and we need to understand that this is okay. It’s okay to not be okay. Life isn’t about fixing yourself up to be perfect; it’s about learning the intricacies of our complex given being, finding how to work with what we have – good or bad – and try and make it all work for the better in some way or another. Sometimes that can be simple, but often times it’s insanely complex, and can even seem impossible.
Looking at things this way, it shines light on how is it that someone can seem like a good person, but when subject to a different situation, if they don’t have good coping skills, then they can take it out on others. This is the distinction of someone’s true colors. It’s so easy to believe though, that such a thing makes them a bad person, full stop, no further thought. However, I think this is a grave oversimplification. Without doubt, it’s a big message that should never be ignored. They don’t have devil’s horns, so to speak, but they’re obviously sorely lacking on really important tools in life, and can tend to ruin others’ respect thru causing unneeded pain and stress. Ergo, try to have sympathy, but not without first meeting your own feelings with the due, deserved grace.
It’s this, I believe, where it’s so important to remember to be patient with yourself. If you are not, you learn to only criticize yourself for being short of absolute perfection, which becomes a habit, and that can be very challenging to overcome. It’s a tragic thing, and nobody deserves it – not a single soul. Forget trying to classify yourself as good or bad – we’re all a mess in some way, but that means we all have so much opportunity for learning and improving!
I’ve always found it helpful to believe that nothing should be considered wrong if it isn’t at the expense of any person, be it another or yourself. Everybody on this planet has a different answer for that, to say the least. It’s no wonder we’re confused! With a dash of willingness towards an open mind, let’s put that aside for just this moment, and boil things down to their very simplest constructs: if everything is okay as long as there is no harm involved, then why wouldn’t you deserve the opportunity to accept yourself as you are?
No, I understand that it’s not as easy as flicking a switch. In fact, it’s a much better description to consider self-acceptance as a form of lifestyle. It’s shedding light on the ‘why’ that makes it truly shine though. Why would you want to change to a lifestyle of acceptance if you weren’t to see what it can truly do? But once you see how beautiful it truly is, that’s when it starts to make sense.
I want to bring some clarity to this, and say that you absolutely should. That’s why I’m here writing this article today. I’m in my late twenties writing this now, I was going thru this for most of my life before I begun to finally realize, that I had set myself up for a long, nasty cycle. But that’s okay, because ultimately, I’m taking that experience and channeling here!
That I would say is why: everybody has shortcomings aplenty, but if we’re willing to consider & learn, we can become so much more than we think. Set aside problematic, toxic people, and let learning take the time it needs to take. Don’t believe in being ‘too stupid’ to improve – awareness is half the battle. Proverbially speaking, simply opening the windows of your mind can allow the outdoor breeze to freshen the air!
With all of that written, I dearly hope that this article can find the eyes of someone in need. <3